Not an editing or proofreading post today, because today is the first anniversary of my father’s death. That’s him in the photo above, with me on his shoulders in my nan’s back garden. I don’t quite know how old I am in the photo, but I’m sure I knew at the time.
Since the anniversary was approaching, I looked up ‘grief after one year’ on the internet. There were a few that popped up. But of course, everybody is different. I’m sure there are books on how to grieve as well as the famous stages of grief, but this isn’t the same for everyone. Naturally, I still expect him to walk through the door, or fall asleep on the sofa and then deny he was asleep.
Life is never the same after such a close person dies. But life does continue. I don’t stop because he’s not there. I’ve been inspired to do more things because he’s not here. While I’m jogging and I find it hard, I think of him to help push me along.
It took a while to get back to doing things. I hid away for a little bit, but then for some reason, I decided to get out and do stuff. Going back to the drama group, for one. And now I’ll be featuring in their (our) latest production in a couple of weeks. Dad loved doing drama, acting on stage professionally a couple of times. He just won’t be there to watch this time. Not in the Hall, anyway.
So, this post is really just for me. And for anyone else who is grieving, or who has an anniversary coming up.
Grieve in your own way.
Take your own time.
Do what feels right.
Gordon J Fullagar: 18.05.1942 – 09.03.2017